Terrible Pictures Of Harriet

by jva

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about

The hot heat...that’s what I remember about making this record. I guess I must have made all the records leading up to this one during the cold, rainy Oregon winter months because I never remember horrible heat while recording. But the basement studio where I recorded this that summer was always broiling. I kept having to turn off the computers to prevent them from frying. Everything technical was just on the verge of blowing up, and every performance was a sweat festival where the player played the last note then ran outside to gulp some moving air. I think that came out in the performances. Tim Ellis, Albert Reda, Little Sue, Tracey Harris, Myrrh Larsen, Stephanie Schneiderman, Clark Bondy and others that I'm lamely forgetting at the moment. When CB came out from Austin to mix it, it was even hotter in there. We were Dogboys to be sure, man...Dogboys.
Kim and I got the air-conditioning that fall.

credits

released May 15, 2005

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about

jva Portland, Oregon

Hi. I’m Jim Walker
I make music.

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Track Name: Jobs
JOBS

DRAG YOUR CHAIR UP TO ME. SLIP ME THE GLASS AND BOTTLE.
THESE ARE THE TALES OF TERROR. OH, HOW THEY GUN AND THROTTLE.
YOU’RE CLIMBING INTO SOMEONE ELSE’S SKIN.
JUST FOR AN INSTANT, REALIZE - THAT THERE’S NO JOB TOO DIRTY.

HE’S GOT THE LOOK OF POWER. OF DEAD AND HEAVY WISDOM.
AND ANY HUMAN CARING IS JUST ANOTHER SYMPTOM.
HE’S HEATING UP THE PLIERS ON THE STOVE.
AND IN A FLASH OF HIS GOLD TEETH YOU’LL SEE - THAT THERE’S NO JOB TOO DIRTY.

YOU’VE GOT IT ALL IN WRITING. IN DISAPPEARING INK.
RUBBING OFF THE PAGES EVEN BEFORE YOU BLINK.
IS IT A ROLE YOU’RE PLAYING? HAS IT BECOME YOUR REAL LIFE?
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD READ MY THOUGHTS.

AND IN THE DAILY DIRT, BEFORE THE HEADLINE DRIES,
YOU’RE READING ALL ABOUT IT THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE’S EYES.
THEY TELL YOU WHAT THEY THINK THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR.
YOU BEAR THE BRUNT. YOU CLEAN THE MESS.
GET THIS - THERE IS NO JOB TOO DIRTY.

WELL, HIS MUG SHOT IS HANGING. YOU SAY WATCH THE BIRDY.
BUT IT’S JUST A SMOKESCREEN - THERE IS NO JOB TOO DIRTY.

NOW, YOU’VE BLOWN YOUR COOL FRONT. NOW, YOU’RE CAUGHT IN THE CLUTCHES.
SAYING, I DID NOT DO IT. ALL OF YOU SUCH AND SUCH’S.
BEST KEEP THIS YARN WRAPPED TIGHT BENEATH YOUR HAT.
YOUNG AND OLD, MAN AND BEAST BE DAMNED - THERE IS NO JOB TOO DIRTY.
Track Name: People Are Guns
PEOPLE ARE GUNS

THE NIGHT IS BLACK WITHOUT STREETLIGHTS.
THE PINES SHIFT WITH THE WEIGHT OF THE WIND.
SHE SITS INSIDE IN DEEP SILENCE.
HER GLASS IS EMPTY AGAIN.

BUT I’LL SAVE MY TEARS FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
RESERVE THE COMPASSION.
KEEP IT TIGHTLY TO MY CHEST LIKE A DIAMOND.

IF I COULD WISH IT AWAY - ALL YOUR FEAR AND YOUR PAIN.
I DON’T THINK I WOULD. I LIKE YOU FEELING THAT WAY.
IF YOU COULD TAKE THEM ALL BACK - THE THINGS THAT YOU’VE DONE.
I DON’T THINK YOU WOULD.

SOME HEARTS ARE LIKE KNIVES, SOME PEOPLE ARE GUNS.

SHE MADE HER CHOICE. SHE MADE HER BED.
SHE MADE A MESS OF HIS HEAD.
SHE MADE HIM LONELY. MADE HIM SMALL.
MADE HIM FEEL LIKE NOTHING AT ALL.

I’VE GOT ONE LAST PRAYER FOR YOU.
MY HANDS JOINED TOGETHER.
SQUEEZED SO TIGHT THEY TURN THAT COAL TO DIAMONDS.

IF I COULD WISH IT AWAY - ALL YOUR FEAR AND YOUR PAIN.
I DON’T THINK I WOULD. I LIKE YOU FEELING THAT WAY.
IF YOU COULD TAKE IT ALL BACK - THE THINGS THAT YOU’VE DONE.
BEGIN AT THE TOP. START AGAIN AT SQUARE ONE
TO GET ONE LAST CHANCE TO RIDE AWAY IN THE SUN.
I DON’T THINK YOU WOULD.

SOME HEARTS ARE LIKE KNIVES, SOME PEOPLE ARE GUNS.
Track Name: Poor Baby
POOR BABY

YOU’VE ALREADY GOT A BATTLE WITH THE BOTTLE.
YOU’VE ALREADY LOST THE HANDLE ON YOUR HATE.
DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS EXTRA BAGGAGE?
DO YOU REALLY NEED MORE DEAD WEIGHT?

ARE YOU REALLY THIS WEAK? ARE YOU REALLY THIS LAME?
ARE YOU REALLY THIS LIMP? ARE YOU REALLY THIS TIRED?
ARE YOU REALLY JUST A POOR BABY?

YOU TRIED BUT YOU CAN’T CONTROL IT.
BIG EMOTION. CALM BLUE OCEAN.
CAN’T YOU EVER CUT THE ENDLESS TIRADE?
THAT’S BETTER NOW. RELAX NOW...

ARE YOU REALLY THIS DRAINED? ARE YOU REALLY THIS SLACK?
ARE YOU REALLY THIS WORN? ARE YOU REALLY THIS SOFT?
ARE YOU REALLY JUST A POOR BABY?

BLACK HOLES. ACES AND SPACES.
DIG DOWN. YOU KNOW THE DRILL.
LIFE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A COMFORT.
IT’S A TOUGH CROWD THROWING BOTTLES AT YOU...

PLEASE STAND BY. PLEASE HOLD.
PLEASE WAIT YOUR TURN TO BE SEATED.
PLEASE HANG UP. PLEASE SHUT UP.
LIE DOWN - ADMIT YOU’RE DEFEATED.

ARE YOU REALLY THIS FAINT? ARE YOU REALLY THIS THIN?
ARE YOU REALLY THIS FRAIL? ARE YOU REALLY THIS...?
BROKEN DOWN. OLD AND DECAYED.
HALF-HEARTED AND TOTALLY EXHAUSTED.

ARE YOU REALLY JUST A...
ARE YOU REALLY JUST A POOR BABY?
POOR BABY.
Track Name: Out In The Light
OUT IN THE LIGHT

JUST AT THE MOMENT I PROMISE MY HEART,
YOU SAY YOU’RE SORRY BUT YOU’RE NOT YOURSELF TODAY.
SO I’VE FALLEN FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T EXIST.
YOU CAN’T ANSWER. AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?
WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE ME?

WHY SO MANY DIFFERENT MEANINGS?
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SAY IT IN BLACK AND WHITE?
SO MANY LAYERS I’VE GOT TO RIP AND TEAR THROUGH JUST TO GET TO YOU.
WHY CAN’T YOU BRING IT OUT IN THE LIGHT?

SOMETIMES IN BED,
I DREAM OF A PLACE WHERE WE COULD BE ALONE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
I LOOK AT THE CLOCK. I STARE AT THE WALLS.
THEN I NOTICE YEARS HAVE GONE BY.
AND WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE YOU AND ME?

I DON’T KNOW IF WE NEED MORE TIME TOGETHER
OR MUCH MORE TIME APART.
I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE GENTLY CARESSING ME
OR DRIVING A STAKE THROUGH MY HEART.

A STRANGER’S EYES CAN BURN HOLES RIGHT THROUGH ME.
IT’S LIKE THEY KNOW MY TENDER SPOTS.
AND JUST AS I’M TAKING THE ARM OF THE PRIZE,
I COUNT ON ONE HAND THE THINGS THAT CAN’T BE BOUGHT.
WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE YOU?
Track Name: Shortie 187
SHORTIE 187

THERE’S A STOP AHEAD. IT’S A BIG RED SIGN.
SO I EASE THE BRAKES TO THE THIN WHITE LINE.
YOU CAN DAM THE FLOW WHEN THE RIVER’S HIGH.
BUT WHEN IT RAINS AGAIN, IT’S GONNA SPLIT THE SIDES.
AND I FEEL LIKE THAT WHEN I THINK OF ME.
LIKE THERE’S SOMEPLACE ELSE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE.

FORWARD MOVING.
SOMETHING’S GONE, BUT ALWAYS NEAR.
SHORTIE 187 WAS HERE.

I COULD CARVE MY NAME BEFORE I DIE.
OUT OF CHISLED STONE, 10 MILES HIGH.
WOULDN’T MATTER TOO MUCH IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS.
STILL GOT TO RELOCATE. GOT TO SPREAD MY WINGS.

SOMETHING’S GONE. SOMETHING’S GONE.
Track Name: That's That
THAT’S THAT

AIR BEATS FROM THE UNDERGROUND. STEAM COMES UP WITHOUT A SOUND.
THIS IS FAR TOO MUCH FOR HER. AND I’VE LOST THE TOUCH I’M SURE.

WELL, I WISH I COULD MAKE OUT WITHOUT CONNECTION.
I’D PLUCK YOUR BROWS AND BLOW THEM IN YOUR FACE.

IT’S THESE LITTLE THINGS THAT BREAK US DOWN.
WHEN ALL IN ALL IT’S STILL THE SAME TOWN.
NOW, WE SAY THAT’S THAT - FOR WORLDS LIKE THIS AGAIN.

THESE MAGICIANS HAVE MOVED IN. WATCH THEM BAIT THE TRAP WITH SIN.

I WISH I COULD STOP DRINKING DOUBLE-FISTED.
BUT THE FUTURE TURNS MY BLOOD TO STONE.

IT’S THESE LITTLE THINGS THAT BREAK US DOWN.
WHEN ALL IN ALL IT’S STILL THE SAME TOWN.
NOW, WE SAY THAT’S THAT - FOR WORLDS LIKE THIS AGAIN.
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME WITH THIS?
WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THESE THINGS TO ME?
AND DO YOU MEAN IT, OR ARE THESE MORE ANGRY WORDS?

I WISH I COULD STOP DRINKING DOUBLEFISTED.
I WISH I WASN’T GUILTY JUST BY BIRTH.

IT’S THESE LITTLE THINGS THAT BREAK US DOWN.
Track Name: One Of My Dreams
ONE OF MY DREAMS

I’M BREATHLESS.
THE CLOCK IS IN PIECES ON THE FLOOR. I KNEW IN TIME I’D USE THAT AXE.
IT’S NO GOOD FOR MY HEALTH. BUT I CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF.

YOU DON’T REMEMBER BREAKING MY HEART.
BUT IT’S SOMETHING I JUST CAN’T FORGET.
I THINK I’LL SINK INTO ONE OF MY DREAMS TONIGHT.

NOW I STAND THERE WITH MY BACK TO YOU.
DAYDREAMING WHEN THE MOON IS FULL. YOU STILL BELIEVE THAT YOU’RE UNDER FIRE.
EVERYBODY’S LONELY, NO DOUBT. BUT SOME OF US DON’T WANT TO GET OUT.

IF YOU WALK THESE STREETS AT NIGHT, YOU SEE THINGS NOBODY SEES.
YOU LEARN FIRST-HAND THE THINGS YOU KNOW FROM MOVIE MEMORIES.

I’M BREATHLESS.
I SET YOUR STUFFED BEAR ON FIRE. ALL THAT’S LEFT IS HIS GLASS EYE.
I TORCHED EVERY SINGLE I LOVE YOU.
BURNED THE HEARTS AND YOUR LIPSTICK KISS. I NEVER THOUGHT IT’D COME TO THIS.

YOU DON’T REMEMBER BREAKING MY HEART.
BUT IT’S SOMETHING I JUST CAN’T FORGET.
IT WAS A CLOSE ONE. THAT IS THE TRUTH.
YOU ALMOST LOVED ME AND SQUANDERED YOUR YOUTH.
I THINK I’LL SINK INTO ONE OF MY DREAMS TONIGHT.

YOU DON’T REMEMBER BREAKING MY HEART.
Track Name: Dissolve
DISSOLVE

I CAN ONLY SEE YOU FROM A DISTANCE.
CAN’T GET ANY CLOSER NOW THAN HERE.
YOU FEEL LIKE BREATH INTO MY BODY.
TAKE YOU IN, LET YOU OUT. TAKE YOU IN, LET YOU OUT. DISAPPEAR.

AS FAR AS THESE EYES SEE, NOTHING’S EVER COME FOR FREE.
YOU OWE ME THIS DEVOTION.
I’LL GLADLY DIE THIS MOMENT IF THAT’S NOT TRUE.

AND DISSOLVE INTO YOU.
I’LL DISSOLVE INTO YOU.
I’LL DISSOLVE INTO YOU.

THOUGH THESE WORDS WILL ONLY FADE AWAY NOW.
AND MY LETTERS ALL REMAIN UNSENT.
ALL THE LINES YOU TELL ME RING SO TRUE.
AS I TAKE YOU IN, LET YOU OUT. TAKE YOU IN, LET YOU OUT. DISAPPEAR.

BUT AS FAR AS THESE EYES SEE, NOTHING’S EVER COME FOR FREE.
YOU OWE ME THIS DEVOTION. I’LL GLADLY CRY AN OCEAN IF THAT’S NOT TRUE.
Track Name: Better Days
BETTER DAYS

WELL, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY TO ME, IT ALL SOUNDS THE SAME WHEN I LEAVE.
I CAN’T HAVE YOUR SADNESS ON MY HANDS. I’M DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN.
AND I DON’T CARE YOU’RE NOT A LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE, BABY.
YOU SAY YOU CAN’T BELIEVE THE THINGS I’M SAYING. OH NO...

WHO SAID ANYTHING AT ALL?

WELL, PUSH COMES TO SHOVE AND THE ROOM HEATS UP.
YOU STOP ME WITH FINGERS TO LIPS.
I FEEL LIKE MY WHOLE LIFE IS ON TRIAL. MY BODY IS UNDER THE WHIP.
CAN’T YOU SEE THE WAY WE’RE COMPROMISING, BABY?
AND I’M JUST TRYING TO CLEAR THE AIR A LITTLE. OH NO...

WHO SAID ANYTHING AT ALL?
IT’S JUST ONE KISS. I WANT IT FOREVER.

I’M POUNDING MY HEAD AGAINST THE ROCKS. YOU CAN’T MAKE YOUR MIND UP.
I HOPE IT’S NOT OVER ONCE AGAIN. I CAN’T EVEN STAND UP.
YOUR CLAWS ARE SHOWING. MY BLOOD IS FLOWING.

SO DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR BETTER DAYS.
GUESS I’M NOT MUCH COMFORT TO YOU.
I’M NOT CONNECTING THINGS TOO WELL, I DOUBT YOU’LL BE HERE WHEN I DO.
ONE OF THESE DAYS WE’RE GOING TO LAUGH ABOUT THIS, BABY.
TILL THEN I JUST REPEAT THE SAME TIRED BULLSHIT. OH NO...
Track Name: What Are You Afraid Of?
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH FOR TOO LONG.
BLOOD BURNS, BUT YOU KNOW YOU’RE ALL WRONG.
I’VE LIVED WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND WISHES.
ONE DAY YOU’RE GOING TO BEG MY FORGIVENESS.
WAIT ‘TILL I’M FINISHED ‘TILL YOU FALL DOWN LAUGHING.
I’VE SEEN IT WITH MY ONE GOOD EYE.
CAUGHT IN THE ACT OF IT, THEN IT’S BACK TO BUSINESS.
WELL, YOU’VE GOT OUR LOVE...
SO WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

INTO THE SHOT OF DANGER AND DESIRE.
HAVE THE PRAYERS BEEN ANSWERED?
OR IS IT TRIAL BY FIRE, THAT DRAGS YOU BACK DOWN TO ME SCREAMING?

SO WHAT NOW IS YOUR PLAN OF ACTION?
I SEE HEADLINES WITH CAPTIONS.
BREAK DOWN THESE WALLS OF REASON.
SHOW ME WHAT’S BEEN BEHIND THEM.
I TURN TO JELLY WHEN YOU KISS ME AND KILL ME.
AND YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE I’VE DONE WRONG.
IT’S A THORNY ROAD TO HEAVEN EVEN IF YOU WATCH YOUR STEP.
BUT, WITH THE MERCY ABOVE...
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

GERONIMO - WELCOME TO THE FUTURE.
OH, IT’S NICE. OH, SO NICE.
HEY YOU, LOOK AT HOW THE DREAMS CAME TRUE.
FOOL’S PARADISE.

YOU CAN STAND TALL. FIND A WAY TO CARRY ON.
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I’LL BE LONG GONE.
I CAN’T HAVE EVERYTHING DEAR TO ME.
BUT, I’M SAFE IN FEAR OF THE ENEMY.
THEY’LL FIND A WAY JUST LIKE THE NIGHT BEHIND THE DAY,
THEY’RE REACHING FOR MY VERY SOUL.
HOW BIG A PUSH UNTIL YOU FALL INTO THE MADNESS?
WHEN THE PUSH COMES TO SHOVE...
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
Track Name: Here We Go - We're Gone
HERE WE GO - WE’RE GONE

I GAVE EVERYONE MY EARS. BUT FEW MY VOICE.
I’D RATHER WATCH AND LISTEN IF I’VE GOT THE CHOICE.
I TAKE IN ALL THE FIGURES. THESE BITS OF HISTORY.
IF THERE’S A METHOD TO THE MADNESS IT’S COMPLETELY LOST ON ME.
I KEEP IT TO MYSELF NOW. THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN.
BUT I WALK RIGHT INTO THE SHADOWS. I SCREAM INTO THE DAWN.
WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND MY NECK, GIRL. HERE WE GO - WE’RE GONE.

I WILL NOT DOUBT YOUR WORD. NO, NOT AT ALL.
FILL ME UP AND LET ME GO AND SHOOT ME DOWN TO FALL.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU KNOW SOMETHING. YOU’VE GOT ONE UP ON ME.
IF YOU LOVE LIKE A MOTHER I WILL SWEAR TO KEEP MY PEACE.
I KEEP IT TO MYSELF NOW. IT’S ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME.
I’LL RUN RIGHT INTO THE BLACKNESS AND PASS OUT ON THE LAWN.
WRAP YOUR LEGS AROUND ME, BABY. HERE WE GO - WE’RE GONE.

CLOUDS ARE IN YOUR VOICE. YOU HEAVE A SIGH.
ANOTHER DRAGGED INTO THE CHEER AND COMFORT OF MY EYE.
YOU’RE STARING AT THE FLOORBOARDS. CAN’T SEEM TO MAKE YOU LOOK.
I KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU, JUST REMEMBER WHAT I TOOK.
I KEEP IT TO MYSELF NOW. STRANGE AS THAT MAY SOUND.
I’LL DROWN MYSELF IN YOUR SAINTLY TEARS. YOU’LL NEVER HEAR THIS SONG.
THAT’S ME BEHIND HER IN THE PICTURE. HERE WE GO - WE’RE GONE.
Track Name: Driving A Nail
DRIVING A NAIL

YOU’RE A BETTER MAN THAN I COULD BE, GIRL.
YOU’RE A CERTAIN GENIUS FAR AS I CAN SEE, GIRL.
YOU’VE GOT THE RIGHT LOOK. YOU CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS.
YOU’VE GOT THE RIGHT HOOK. GLIDING LIKE A BLUEBIRD.

AND IT’S ALL CLEAR. CLEAR AS THOSE FALSE TEARS.

THERE’S NO END HERE. IT’S LIKE A DRIVING A NAIL AGAIN AND AGAIN.
IT’S LIKE ICE HERE. THEY TELL YOU GO QUIETLY BUT YOU KNOW YOU NEVER WILL.

I CAN TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.
I’M SO FRIGHTENED BUT IT’S YOU THAT I FEAR.
IT’S JUST LIKE FALLING A HUNDRED MILES DOWN AND NEVER, NEVER HITTING THE GROUND.

SO I WAIT HERE. HERE IN SUSPENSION.

I’M JUST KILLING TIME WHILE YOU LIVE THIS WAY.
THEN I KID MYSELF THAT YOUR HANDS FEEL THE SAME.
I REMEMBER WHO I PUT MY FAITH IN. SOMEONE WHO’D BE THERE. BUT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN.

AND THE WHEEL SPINS ROUND SO SILENT.
Track Name: Return
RETURN

HER HEART ISN’T IN THIS. SHE’S LOST IN MY EYES.
I RUSTLE AROUND BETWEEN GUN-METAL THIGHS.
WE GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS, PRETENDING IT’S LUST.
ANOTHER SAD MOMENT JUST PASSED BETWEEN US.

SOMETIMES WE GROW. SOMETIMES WE CRASH AND BURN.
SOMEDAY WE’LL DIE. SOMEDAY WE’LL ALL RETURN.

SO SHE PARTS YOUR HAIR FOR YOU, AND DRIFTS OFF TO SLEEP.
BUT YOUR EYES ARE OPEN. YOU’RE UP COUNTING SHEEP.
THAT ONE’S CLEARED THE WOOD FENCE. ONE BOUNDS THROUGH THE AIR.
AND ONE’S WEARING WOLF’S CLOTHING AND SOFT PERFUMED HAIR.

OH, WHEN THE MOON IS OUT AND THE SKY IS RIGHT,
AND THAT SOUR LOOK IS OFF YOUR FACE.
THE RIDDLES OF MY LIFE ARE ANSWERED,
AS YOU VOLUNTEER YOUR RACING PULSE.
STILL, THE TIMES WE MANAGE TO CONNECT,
WHEN THERE’S NO HEADACHES AND THERE’S NO STRESS...
THOSE MOMENTS ARE LIKE BURIED TREASURE.
I REMEMBER THOSE THE BEST.

SOMEDAY WE’LL ALL RETURN.
SOMEDAY WE’LL ALL RETURN.

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