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Scene Missing

by jva

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Terrified 03:35
TERRIFIED Sun. Blue sky like a dream. I’m trying not to scream. Wishing that this all would pass. With my face frozen in the glass. All reason slips away. White horror. Prayers to say. Waiting for eternity. But that moment never comes for me. Guess I should be terrified. Guess I should be terrified. Guess I should be terrified. Death’s wasting all his time. Him, his court. Me to mine. While I lend a helping hand. To the remains of my fellow man. There’s no air. There’s no fear. Can you save me?
FEET IN MY SHOES Driving car. Down South. Going home again. I’m loading film into my camera. I’ll be shooting everything. I’m walking where he walked. Going where he went. Following the road trying to find my own feet in my shoes. Visiting some old friends. Stopping here and there. I’ll bum some money from the folks then I’ll hit the bricks again. Sleeping in a beach hut. Covered with bug bites. Twenty kinds of horrible with no relief in sight. Dead broke. Dog tired. Scenery and me are passing log trucks and beer signs blinking in the darkness. Head’s wrong. Heart’s right. Losing my composure. Got a blind date suffering from my overexposure. Where’s the action? That’s where the truth lies. Something reaching up for your throat from the soft earth. Past blows by on every cool breeze. Gets ahold of me and it drops me to my knees. Following my nose trying to find my own feet in my shoes.
SOMETHING I LIKED I had my doubts about this working out from the moment you walked through the door. I didn’t know why I asked you to come by. It was something I couldn’t ignore. You look like somebody who could be understanding. Someone who I could talk to. And there’s no disguise when the light hits your eyes. I want you to stay. But the things that you say trigger such sad memories. So if I break down or if I come unwound, it’s nothing you’re doing directly. I don’t want to be by myself here tonight. Don’t leave if I look like I’m blue. Talk to me more, the way you did before. I fall in love easily, as you can see.
Persuasion 04:28
PERSUASION Let me go. I won’t say a word. I can keep a secret, rest assured. I guess these black woods can do strange things to a man. We all go crazy now and then. I don’t need to be persuaded. Take that rifle from my face. I just want to dig my hole when I get out of this place. If someone’s going to help me, someone help me fast. I can’t live with this around my neck and you can’t change the past. There’s nothing I could say that you could hear. Even though I’m screaming loud and clear. And money can’t buy me out of this. It’s over. There’s people that I’m going to miss. I’ve never had this feeling. I hope it doesn’t last. It’s madness and it’s moonshine and I can’t change the past.
Presses Down 04:00
PRESSES DOWN I’m getting ideas inside my head. Bad things that won’t go away. Stretched out on the rack by all my thoughts. I’m setting effigy to flame. I’m watching it all with shattered heart. Prayers only heard in my dome. I’m shooting at fish inside a bowl. It feels so much like I’ve come home. Sometimes the world won’t stop it’s pounding. Sometimes I’m lying on the ground. Sometimes my head won’t stop revolving. And it all just presses down. Down. Down. Down. Ooh, I want to get my hands on them. Ooh, I want to feed my fingers. Ooh, I want to roll in death and sin. Ooh, I want to breathe it deeply. Sometimes my head won’t stop it’s pounding. Sometimes I’m lying on the ground. Sometimes the world won’t stop revolving. And it all just presses down. Down. Down. Down. I’m getting ideas inside my head.
Human 03:21
HUMAN Strange doings in my mind tonight. You could steal the thoughts right out of my head. Well, I look good in the picture but when I tear the wrapper back... I want to feel human again. When you shake for no reason somebody’s walking on your grave. Well I think this chill must give me away. Because I hiss and pop like power lines. Eyes like dying flames. Let’s plunder into the night. You can’t run for cover in the end. I swear to God for once I wasn’t thinking of myself. This girl is my shelter in the shade. But I don’t want to have her as a friend. This mad money is changing hands tonight.
Year Zero 04:46
YEAR ZERO Those who recall the past, sleep in the soil. We’re beginning again. There’s nothing at all. The future is here now. We’re born on this day. What do you care if they take it out on you? We’re just the shells of the men you knew. King elected himself. We dug him a graveyard. We do what he say. I spit shine the boots. His Majesty like me. That keeps me alive. Here at the start of time. Where taking a life’s no crime. They’re tearing down souls as these first moments unwind. They won’t get mine. They won’t get mine. Stolen gun beneath my pillow. Now he trying to pin it on me. No chance out for this life now. And the whites of my eyes can see Year Zero. And these men you knew will come after you.
Red 04:26
RED I’m walking through the desert sea. Doesn’t matter where I go you’re still with me. I see you just like in those days. Before the color sent us separate ways. Police lights. Lips. Cherries. Rose’ wine. Maybe just the glasses we wore all the time. Whistling happy birthday wrong. One false move and I drug you along. Then the pain became a bore. Now I don’t know who I run from anymore. The blood is pouring endlessly from vines. And still nobody’s swinging for these crimes. Red flowed out of control from the moment the first cut was made. Completely out of control. Just another razor game we played. It’s cold. In pools. Sticky on our faces. It leaves a trail from all these desperate places. Soft light spills out from rooms down dirty halls. I see your number scrawled out on the wall. Crimson sweater in the cold. Hanging off your shoulder. Your black bra showed. Watching from behind the glass. You said you’d do anything I asked.
Raving Thing 04:38
RAVING THING ‘We’re sending you there...’ They laughed dragging me from my cell. But I can’t be repaired. I’m black vengeance come straight from Hell. I’m young and I’m strong and the papers are signed. If I do what they say I’ll be out in no time. This is a joke. You’ve got to be kidding me. You prod and you poke. What are you trying to see? Do you think you’ll find love deep inside of these eyes? Are you trying to find the calm blue in my skies? Just keep on wasting your time. I taste the air from outside. I’m here to be a mad, raving thing. Can’t you see there’s no fixing me? I’m here to be a mad, raving thing. I do the Devil’s will. I make Heaven weep. Fill me with drugs. Stretch me out upon the rack. Open my eyes to all of my sins. I won’t crack. There’s flickering lights. Like a dark matinee. It’s nothing to me. I’ve gone far away. But please don’t play that song. I’ve seen the light. I’ve been wrong. An ocean’s worth of trouble in my head. I can’t fight back or I’m good as dead.
TALKING BACKWARDS I have habits when I travel. Leaving clues in heaps of gravel. For the clever to unravel. It separates me from all of the rabble. She’s a beautiful young girl. Her nose is turned up at the world. Her claws show and her tail’s uncurled. Daddy’s little angel can’t help talking backwards. And the voices on electric wires hum with sinners, saints and liars. Cans of smoke and burning tires. Started all these brand new fires. Chocolate and candy cane. She’s never going to act her age. She’s going out the way she came in. So Heaven sent. Hell-bent on talking backwards. She’s not fooling anyone. She’s just like he is. Waiting in the warm red room. She’s not going anywhere. She’s just like you are. Lordy, Lordy be here soon. Dirt will bury unsolved cases. Stolen souls with hidden faces. Disappearing without traces from dancing dreams that come from other places. Put the spoon up to her lips. Words beneath her fingertips. And laugh as I bring down the whip. You should know by now I’m only talking backwards.
Gallery 04:37
GALLERY Faceless stranger in the shadows. Unaccustomed to the ways. Wandering city blocks at night and dozing through the muggy days. Scribbling words on cocktail napkins. Drowning in the smoky haze. Right on time for any Lonely Street he finds. Drop the queens and throw the eight ball. Playing to the gallery. Listening through the common walls. Playing to the gallery as kingdoms start to fall. Start to fall. He sees candles flicker in his dreams. Out of reach. Behind the glass. Where the red wine’s flowing endless. Whispering of home at last. When his fingers stretched to shore she didn’t stand there anymore. This isn’t what he bargained for. Got into a scrape. The wait’s beginning. Writing down what people say. Walking outside. Telling stories. Wasted hours. He takes up space. Patches of green with the red light, blue light. Try to pray. Try to pray. Singing old songs where all the chords go wrong.
Today 10:04
TODAY If everything loses it’s meaning. If all that I have slips away. I will still recall giving myself to you. I will still remember today. The past comes to stay and it hangs in the air all around us. Like smoke in my clothes, gasoline in your hair. Can’t escape it. And I can’t wait around till tomorrow. I just have to change this today. I’ll give up this racket and start once again. And make this old life go away. With the ebb and the flow of the glow in the night and the darkness. I’m making my own world. I disappear into the dimming. Ash in the cool of the morning, I finally got up the nerve. And I know that these things will get better on the other side of the curves.


My favorite record of mine (so far), and probably the most fun I’ve ever had making a record.
I saw a Woody Allen movie where everyone in the cast sang a song even if they couldn’t sing, and I thought, “Then I wonder... if I could make a cd about all my favorite movies?” So every song here is about a film, though I tried not to be stupidly obvious about it with the lyrics.
It’s a dark, moody record and I released it, accidentally, a week before 9/11. After that no one wanted to hear anything dark and moody for a long time, so I still have hundreds in the basement. If you'd like one let me know...I could use the space.


released August 24, 2001


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jva Portland, Oregon

Hi. I’m Jim Walker
I make music.

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